Cuff ‘Em: This Guy Was Humping A Louisiana Woman’s Sliding Glass Door, Wearing Rubber Boots!

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Matthew Douglas Hicks

Do you have a dog?

If so, you know how it’s non-stop wet nose marks on your sliding glass door. Streak after streak. It never ends. It’s like the little shits know you just Windex-ed and things are looking, um, clean.

For one Louisiana woman she likely had to make a bleach run after what some jerkoff from Arizona did to her sliding glass door yesterday morning.

From The News-Star:

Ouachita Parish sheriff’s deputies arrested Matthew Douglas Hicks, 32, of Glendale, Ariz., on one count of exposing his genitals in public and one count of trespassing.

According to police reports, the victim called 9-1-1 this morning to report that a man was taking a bath in her swimming pool, located in the back yard of her Calhoun home. The caller said he soaped himself down and began committing a lewd act on her glass door. When deputies arrived to the area, the found the suspect wearing only a pair of rubber boots on his feet and he was walking toward the road.

Hicks was handcuffed and he told deputies he was from Arizona, his vehicle had been towed and he was not sure how he arrived at the residence. He then admitted to taking a bath in the pool and when deputies questioned him about the lewd act on the door, Hicks responded, “She saw me?”

What the local newspaper won’t tell you, because they have something called ‘ethics,’ is that the dude was humping the sliding glass door, according to the arrest report that we have to show you….AFTER THE JUMP!

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Click image for larger photo if your eyes are bad

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