Cuff ‘Em: This Crazy Bastard Just Wants A Cup Of Hot Chocolate With Marshmallows, Towels

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From The Oregonian comes this piece of Cuff ‘Em greatness:

A homeless man who sneaked into a Beaverton hot tub, then called 9-1-1 to ask for towels, hot chocolate and a hug got cold comfort from police instead.

Mark Eskelsen called emergency dispatchers from his cell phone about 7:10 a.m. Sunday, identified himself as “the sheriff of Washington County,” and asked for medical help.

“I just need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it,” he told the dispatcher.

We swear this sounds like Jeff Spicoli.

Oh, did we mention there is a recording of this greatness? Listen to the dude being completely nutty via the 911 call.

Mark just needs a couple of towels and he hates to burn all his cellphone minutes.

[Man to 9-1-1: “I need a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate”]

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