Cuff 'Em: Florida Pair Accused Of Stiffing Medicare, Billing Government For Phony Penis Pump For Women!

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Masturstoke

Multiple reasons for going with this story instead of the usual sports-related arrest story.

• Florida

• Penis pumps are always funny

• Headline options

• Florida

• Use of the MasturStroke image we’ve been holding onto

• A penis pump for a chick? Intriguing storyline. Period.

From today’s Miami Herald:

A pair of Hialeah companies fraudulently billed Medicare thousands of dollars for $395 penis pumps, supposedly to help male patients combat impotence, authorities say.

But women were also among the purported patients at Charlie RX and Happy Trips, which together billed $63,000 for vacuum-erection systems intended only for men.

The federal healthcare program paid the two medical-equipment providers $28,600, according to charges unsealed Monday in federal court in Miami. Among the payments: phony claims for four penis pumps for a single female patient.

“That should’ve been caught,” according to a Medicare spokesperson.

No shit? The name of the company giving Medicare the shaft? Happy Trips. We don’t make up this shit. Florida writes itself.

Look, morons, if you are going to rip off the government, maybe billing a penis pump for a chick isn’t the right move because eventually these idiots will come back from a lunch break and catch on to your scam. Or 60 Minutes will come in and do the work.

Stroke it like a Pro!

[Hialeah pair accused of bilking Medicare for penis pumps]

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