(Thanks to tipster Brennan for emailing this one in. Have a Cuff ‘Em for us? firstname.lastname@example.org)
Look, as a teen, nothing was more fun in the summer hitting the swimming pools with dreams of finding the hot chick we’d been eyeballing all school year was in her bikini. And there were bonus points if she was up for playing dunk the hot chick we’d been eyeballing.
But then this story comes along to ruin all the fun. Meet Joy. Someone is in need of a good Rick Pitino-ing.
Investigators say 34-year-old Joy Verucci called police to say she was being harassed by neighbors for touching the boys at the pool.
As it turns out, Verucci herself was arrested.
Police say the boys, ages 13, 15, 16 and 17, were dunking each other in the water, and Verucci would get involved. However, during this horseplay, police say Verucci touched the genitals of one boy through the outside of his swimsuit, and the buttocks of a second boy.
Isn’t this a huge disappointment for these boys. They figure this is the summer they might get some touchy via the hot chick they’d been eyeballing all school year and then this fat meth head decides to go for a swim.
It’s ok, boys. Now is the time to use this to your advantage. You are setting boundaries for the rest of your life. No grenades at an early age are standards that’ll now carry you through your teen years and right into college when a slump-buster will be needed here and there.
At the college stage you’ll set new standards. It’s called beer goggles. Suddenly there will be new values associated with women. She’s a 6-pack. She’s a 12-pack and a 2 month without sex kinda chick. Etc. See where Uncle Busted Coverage is going here.
So don’t stop going to the swimming pool. Just get a restraining order.