“I’d blow Harvey Levin for pageviews.”
So wait, let me get this straight, E! calls up Brooks, the douchebag behind Sports By Brooks (notice we’re not linking to the idiot) and says ‘Hey, we need an expert on Tiger Woods. Have a couple of free hours?’
Brooks, like the attention whore that he is, says, “Sure, who do I have to blow for allowing me such an opportunity?”
“Nope, no blowing,” the intern working for free at E! tells him.
“You just have to recap all the stories you rewrote from other sources during the Tiger Woods saga. Cool, brah?”
Brooks, figuring this is the move to get his growing old ass into Hollywood, jumps at the chance to wax about a story that he cannot possibly expand.
Ever the scenester, Brooks throws on a size-sml shirt and gets his ass on the Hollywood freeways. The radio is tuned to ESPN Radio. To Cowherd, obviously. Brooks has perfect timing. Cowherd just told the listeners that he reads Sports By Brooks. As if the listeners haven’t heard this before. That Cowherd, he really is worldly because he reads both left and right coast blogs.
Twitter update. “Cowherd loves me. Maybe this will revitalize my radio career?,” Brooks thinks via 140 characters to himself.
By now, he’s to the studio. Into makeup. A fresh waxing of the dome. Onto the set. Cameras roll. Some stupid producer asks him a couple of softball questions. Brooks tells them what they want to hear. Smiles all around.
He rolls out of the studio and tries to find the nearest Millions of Milkshakes with dreams that they’ll one day name one after his blog.
You can catch the episode tomorrow at 6 p.m. EST (we suppose) or hit up a happy hour after work.
If you tune in, never return to this blog. Ever. Deal?