Rick’s Cabaret Strippers Weigh In On Tiger Woods, Want To Cheer Up Cheetah

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Friend of Busted Coverage, the infamous Lonnie Hanover sends word today from Rick’s Cabaret that the ladies have a message for Tiger Woods.

Their lips are sealed, but want to tell Tiger it would be cool if he made a stop at the famous Midtown club to be, um, cheered up.

“We keep quiet about that stuff,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Pamela (34C-23-35), a blonde beauty–just like Tiger likes them.

“I’m sure that there must be a lot of girls here that know Tiger.

We are not going on TV to talk about Tiger. We respect his privacy. He’s a generous guy, and that is a good quality,” she explained. “He’s probably feeling pretty low right now, and I know how to cheer him up and I would keep quiet about it. There is a paper called a confidential keep quiet contract and I will sign it,” she said.

What guy who has 14 mistresses can turn down the following offer?

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“I dance for famous people all the time” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Cassandra (36D-25-35), a statuesque “girl next door” blonde from the midwest. “They are like everyone else. Some of them are nice and some of them, well, I am not going to say. But if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say it.”

Rick’s Cabaret Girl Lily (34C-24-33) said “No one should have their life ruined because of a bad marriage. Look, he’s in a bad marriage.”

She issued this challenge: “Tell Tiger to come see me and I will make him forget all his troubles.”

Lily is exactly right. Horrible marriage. Miserable home life.

Busted Coverage can only think of a final solution to this huge mess. Tiger should round up his stable of mistresses and have one final blowout bash at Rick’s before Elin takes $275 million or however much she’ll get.

We’re talking massive quantities of booze, implants flying around at a dizzying pace, whipped cream being blasted out of those t-shirt guns at baseball stadiums, $100s raining from the ceiling, Tiger being beaten across the face with DDs, etc.

The kids will eventually get over it. They’re going to be screwed up anyway. Cheetah might as well get crazy before having his ass Jim Nantz-ed in court because if he was miserable at home before just think of how he’s going to feel having to keep his no-pussy getting ass in Orlando with a wife who’d love to cut off his nuts.

[Rick's Cabaret]

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