Um, to say we are disgusted to bring you this news is an understatement.
And, as you correctly guessed, this arrest story comes from Florida.
The Ocala Star-Banner introduces the world to Venus Lewis, a 41-year-old (yeah, looking like an old 41) drunk who really needs some sex.
According to the police report, Lewis was at the E.D. Croskey Recreation Center. She began chasing two league football players, both under 16 years old. She told them she would catch them and then have sex with them.
She then walked between two picnic tables, pulled her pants down in front of both boys and inserted a tampon. The boys told police they looked away.
Lewis also laid on a picnic table and began masturbating in front of the boys. Ocala police said Lewis was intoxicated.
Now we’re going to go and have a nice breakfast of puke and Old Milwaukee. It might not have been so bad if she didn’t resort to the masturbating. That is just over the line in our book.