Disclaimer: not Adam Michael Kelly.
A very wise person once said “You’ll learn a life lesson every single day of your life.”
Aussie footballer (rugby) Adam Michael Kelly learned this week that performing a sex act on a parking meter costs $150 and be humiliated as the story moves around the world.
Not that Kelly should be totally ashamed by his performance during a drunken night back in August. He did have some pretty good game trying to seduce the meter, according to court records.
From the local Australian media who actually were paid a day’s wage to cover Kelly’s court case:
On August 3, police were called to a disturbance at the corner of Shields and Abbott streets, where they found Kelly dry-humping a parking meter and yelling out: “Yeah baby, you know you want it.”
The Cairns & District Rugby League player might have gotten away with the buffonery but then verbally assaulted a woman passing by.
Then, while talking to police, a woman of Asian appearance walked by and in a loud voice Kelly looked at her and said “f—ing gook, f— off home”, said (prosecutor) Long.
We’re not sure what f@ck off home means so if you are from Australia and can translate, we’d appreciate it.
Look, we’ve been drunk, but never to the point where a parking meter could double for a POA. It’s a little too stiff for our tastes. What this guy really needs when he gets bombed is the Hiney Can. It solves all issues.
[Sex by the meter costly - Cairns Post]