This story has the fans of the Baltimore Orioles more pissed than the team securing their 12th straight losing season.
Four punks, apparently in a prank competition, were arrested this week for ripping off the #8 Cal Ripken statue that sits outside Camden Yards.
This total lack of brain usage has people questioning humankind. The Baltimore Sun even got Ripken’s mom to comment on the theft, as if the story needed any more drama.
“Every day, I hear things on the news and I think, ‘Who in the world would do something like that,’ and I have no idea,” Ripken’s mother, Vi, said in a telephone interview. “Maybe they thought, ‘We’ll get attention if we do this.’ I wouldn’t even venture a guess as to what motivates people.”
Look, Vi, obviously you’ve never been in a fratty competition where you have to steal items and the coolest, craziest item taken wins the challenge.
For example, here in the Midwest the restaurant Big Boy is a huge deal to fat people who like poor salad bars and brownies covered with ice cream. It’s a shitty place to eat but the franchise mascot is a giant Big Boy. And his statue sits outside the place.
Here is a stolen Big Boy we are very familiar with from back in the college days (we had nothing to do with it). It’s like some sort of passage into manhood if you can back your F-150 up to Big Boy and rip the 300-pound monster off his perch.
Thank Heavens these thiefs were caught and the #8 was returned so that the hundreds of Orioles fans left will have a reason to visit the Yards.
[Ripken’s No. 8 statue stolen – Baltimore Sun]