Cuff ‘Em: Californian Wacks It To H.S. Cross Country Team, Tells Police He Has Itch

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cross-country-wacker

“Hey, jerkoff, why not get a room for you and the sausage?”

That was our lede back in February when California softball players caught some spanker ripping his meat in a Santa Barbara City College parking lot.

Well, folks, there are more perverted jerkoffs in California to tell you about and this guy has an all-time classic excuse for spanking it in public.

buy-wackers-photo

Newspapers really jonesing for cash: buy perverts mug shot.

Hoang Hong Nguyen was caught recently, by a janitor, at Fountain Valley High School going to town while watching the girl’s high school cross country team in action, reports the Orange County Register.

A janitor says he spotted Nguyen exposing and touching himself Friday while watching the cross-country team, Fountain Valley Sgt. Eric Orahood said. The janitor made a citizen’s arrest, tackling Nguyen and sitting on him until police arrived.

American hero!

So what really got Nguyen going. The 39-year-old seemed to like “watching the girls’ cross-country team stretch and do calisthenics.”

But wait, before you slam the jail door on this guy he has a very valid excuse.

Nguyen told police that he had come to the school to play soccer, and admitted exposing and touching himself, saying he had an itch he had to scratch, police said.

Oh, Dear God, that is the greatest thing we’ve read all week.

He had an itch!  Whooaaaahhhh! Great one.

[Man accused of touching himself at high school pleads not guilty]


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