Cuff ‘Em: Californian Wacks It To H.S. Cross Country Team, Tells Police He Has Itch


“Hey, jerkoff, why not get a room for you and the sausage?”

That was our lede back in February when California softball players caught some spanker ripping his meat in a Santa Barbara City College parking lot.

Well, folks, there are more perverted jerkoffs in California to tell you about and this guy has an all-time classic excuse for spanking it in public.


Newspapers really jonesing for cash: buy perverts mug shot.

Hoang Hong Nguyen was caught recently, by a janitor, at Fountain Valley High School going to town while watching the girl’s high school cross country team in action, reports the Orange County Register.

A janitor says he spotted Nguyen exposing and touching himself Friday while watching the cross-country team, Fountain Valley Sgt. Eric Orahood said. The janitor made a citizen’s arrest, tackling Nguyen and sitting on him until police arrived.

American hero!

So what really got Nguyen going. The 39-year-old seemed to like “watching the girls’ cross-country team stretch and do calisthenics.”

But wait, before you slam the jail door on this guy he has a very valid excuse.

Nguyen told police that he had come to the school to play soccer, and admitted exposing and touching himself, saying he had an itch he had to scratch, police said.

Oh, Dear God, that is the greatest thing we’ve read all week.

He had an itch!  Whooaaaahhhh! Great one.

[Man accused of touching himself at high school pleads not guilty]

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    1. […] A California man has pleaded not guilty to tugging off while watching high school cross country girls stretch.  Even though a janitor caught him in the act and tackled him until police arrived.  I find the janitor’s decision making here almost as questionable as the perverts.  I mean, hooray for him and all, but I’m not about to jump on a dude with his junk out and sit on him for 10 minutes.  I’ve seen that tactic used before, and that’s great for Jenna Jameson, but it isn’t my style.  <bustedcoverage> […]

    2. […] Busted Coverage: Man caught by janitor wanking to high school girl’s cross-country team’s stretch routines Click here to cancel reply. […]

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