Headlines: USC Song Girl Dong Bonger Sarah Carmona Is Officially Off The Market, Gets Married

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In an effort to be the blog that combines Song Girls, Dong Bongs and Sports into a cohesive unit, we bring you news that world famous Dong Bonger Sarah Carmona has officially shed that last name.

You heard it right, a guy took Ms. Carmona’s left hand in marriage. That would be the same hand that gripped the infamous Dong Bong and made her a household name amongst the blogging community.

Over the weekend, Luke Rasmussen and the former USC Song Girl said “I Do’s” in Newport Beach, CA.

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Mrs. Rasmussen-Dong Bong far right.

Don’t believe us? Our slimy Indian freelance researchers even located wedding photos minus the people. Nice cake.

Quickly…

Question: You know what food ruins a woman’s sex drive?

Answer: Wedding cake.

Our researchers (at $2.50 an hour) also found the couple’s wedding registry – at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

So there you have it Dong Bonger fans. Your days of thinking how cool it would be to marry a chick who grips the Dong are over.

Luke has a crazy one on his hands.

Good luck, buddy.

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Our subject, right, with a close friend

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