Headlines: USC Song Girl Dong Bonger Sarah Carmona Is Officially Off The Market, Gets Married


In an effort to be the blog that combines Song Girls, Dong Bongs and Sports into a cohesive unit, we bring you news that world famous Dong Bonger Sarah Carmona has officially shed that last name.

You heard it right, a guy took Ms. Carmona’s left hand in marriage. That would be the same hand that gripped the infamous Dong Bong and made her a household name amongst the blogging community.

Over the weekend, Luke Rasmussen and the former USC Song Girl said “I Do’s” in Newport Beach, CA.


Mrs. Rasmussen-Dong Bong far right.

Don’t believe us? Our slimy Indian freelance researchers even located wedding photos minus the people. Nice cake.


Question: You know what food ruins a woman’s sex drive?

Answer: Wedding cake.

Our researchers (at $2.50 an hour) also found the couple’s wedding registry – at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

So there you have it Dong Bonger fans. Your days of thinking how cool it would be to marry a chick who grips the Dong are over.

Luke has a crazy one on his hands.

Good luck, buddy.




Our subject, right, with a close friend


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  1. Blizzard says:

    Just found out about this today. Tragic. Total tragedy. Fine, I want to see who this guy is and what his deal is that he gets to have her, or is there some kind of arrangement going on here? When my favorite former USC Song Girl who wore the tight sweater perfectly with her huge bosoms gets taken I demand info.

  2. […] wild Internet days before Twitter nerds took over. I miss the days when I could post a photo of a USC Song Girl working on a Dong Bong.¬†We’re left with a history lesson for the younger readers on how things used to be when […]

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