14 Reasons Why Marko Jaric Has Yet To Score Since Marriage To Adriana Lima

Brittany Impresses Kansas City Judge By Surviving This Horrific DismountBrittany Impresses Kansas City Judge By Surviving This Horrific Dismount
Nightcapper: Raccoon Avoids Capture At Rays-Red Sox Spring Training GameNightcapper: Raccoon Avoids Capture At Rays-Red Sox Spring Training Game

3311905871_0b08393913

Reason #1 why Marko hasn’t scored: waxy hands.

You’ve heard of the John Madden curse.

But there is now a new curse in the sports world and it involves a new marriage, a Victoria’s Secret model and an NBAer.

To put it bluntly, Marko Jaric has yet to score since putting a ring on Adriana Lima’s finger.

That’s right, 0-14 from the field, 0-3 from 3-point range, and 7 turnovers in 45 minutes played over 5 contests. Not good for a guy who hadn’t gone pointless in five straight games this season.

Maybe it’s time to rethink this marriage thing. Or not. Mark gets his chance to drop a few baskets tonight at 8 pm as the Griz takes on OKC.

After the jump, 13 more reasons Marko has yet to score.

3229864994_32dc90ba0a

Reason #2: Can’t see anything but white.

3216132492_f5dc673a83

Reason #3: Her breakfasts suck.

3239821572_862a57ce90

Reason #4: Early morning sex leaves him drousy the rest of the day.

3239500291_093be96a5b

Reason #5: Can’t resist puppy eyes over practing jumpers.

3285647477_49c796bba7_o

Reason #6: wood.

3287093664_550b16ed63_o

Reason #7: She makes enough money for him to quit working.

3286284081_44b7f64161_o

Reason #8: Her hot friends are distracting.

3304773016_7447df7c4c_b

Reason #9: All he can keep thinking of is “this is forever.”

3311305562_cfbbe06b2f_o

Reason #10: Boobs! All mine! Get this damn game over with!

3310481283_e44e3d9257_o

Reason #11: Charlie Horses.

3310480443_c836ebb012_o

Reason #12: Spent energy ripping off intricate lingerie.

3310483159_18f7c618d3_b

Reason #13: Sex > actual NBA game.

3312721134_9d508f17e7_o

Reason #14: Marko can’t get mind off what’s waiting for him at front door.

Alternative Adriana Reading:

Ms. Lima now able to give it up to Marko [Epic Carnival]

Comments
The Backyard: Best Of The Web
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 285 other followers