Cuff ‘Em: Drunk Father Lets 8-Year-Old Drive And Nearly Kill Toronto FC Coaches, Andy Kennedy’s Wife Told To Prove Loss Of Sex, Jock Sanders Booted And Equipment Manager Murder

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“Cuff ‘Em” is a daily look at who’s in trouble with the law. It’s our hope to limit this to 5 sports-related morons, but it can be modified at our discretion or if there is a sudden outbreak of superior stupidity.

  • Coaches for Toronto FC of the MLS got a huge scare Sunday night near Bradenton, Florida as an 8-year-old boy barreled a van through a grocery store parking lot. The reason the boy was behind the wheel of the van – his dad was plowed and figured he’d have the kid drive. Seriously. The guy told police he was “feeling woozy and didn’t want to drive.” Mark Belanger also told police he did it “because he wanted to have a bonding moment with his son.” Full Story.
  • Lawyers to Ole Miss coach Andy Kennedy’s wife: Prove your husband was incapable of giving you the rod. Full Story.

  • Gym teachers beware. If you are running basketball drills and happen to collide with a student (especially female) it could be considered inappropriate touching and you can be arrested. Full Story.
  • Jesus H. Kick Jock Sanders off the WVU football team and be done with this moron. Full Story.
  • When college student football equipment managers go wrong, they murder Brink’s security guards. Full Story.
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