Art McGregor On The Pro Bowl: Thinking More About Andre Johnson Than Even His Mother
The NFL cheerleaders had one final moment to enjoy Hawaii.
Busted Coverage correspondent Art McGregor of Blog On The Run asked for a mission this weekend so we told him to sit through the Pro Bowl and give us a report.
Art is a social critic, elite drinker and watches enough sports to keep women from becoming too involved.
Enjoy some of the finest writing you’ll find on this useless NFL football exhibition.
â€œ… Enough. Iâ€™ve had enough.â€ – Cris Collinsworth, 12:46 remaining in the first quarter.
Saturday night left me utterly useless yesterday. The Arena District here in Columbus has been known to inflict that plague on others far greater than myself.
Counted hours on the type of Sunday when you donâ€™t shower until 8:30 p.m. Big fan of the â€œuselessâ€ shower. Really had no reason to shower. Iâ€™m not going out. I donâ€™t need to impress anyone. My roommate is playing Tiger Woods 2006 on the X-Box for the sixth straight hour. (He still hasnâ€™t made a cut.)
Reviewing the AFC-NFC Pro Bowl is about all I had in me Sunday other than that frosty I just enjoyed. Why does Wendyâ€™s ask you if you want a chocolate or vanilla frosty? It should be implied that you want a chocolate frosty unless you specifically order vanilla. Who’s with me?
I took the shower so Iâ€™d have an excuse to wear a T-shirt between November and April and to smell my arms. It’s a rare treat in the Buckeye State. Still, they donâ€™t require cleanliness for driving through the aptly-named drive-thru at Wendyâ€™s. Or for working there. I love how my arms smell after a shower. Thatâ€™s a pretty clutch ad campaign right there. â€œSoap so good, youâ€™ll be smelling your arms.â€
P.S. – Didnâ€™t really take the shower anywhere. Itâ€™s still in its same location although me and my roommate adjust the shower head differently. Iâ€™m not particularly strong and havenâ€™t lifted a weight since 2005. So yeah, I get sore when I move the shower head.
Mostly watched the Lakers and Cavs in the afternoon. Exciting game for the most part but the memory Iâ€™ll take from the game is the guy sitting courtside wearing the Drew Brees jersey. About five or six seats down from Cleveland coach Mike Brown, a guy was wearing a white Drew Brees jersey. He wore this New Orleans football jersey to a game played between Cleveland and Los Angeles. In basketball.
Thereâ€™s another idea. Iâ€™m now one closer to being full of them. Itâ€™s not something a crew can do every game, but every once in awhile your sideline reporter should go into the stands and ask certain fans to explain their fashion choices.
What went through Drew Brees Jersey Guyâ€™s mind? Seriously. Itâ€™s far more interesting than hearing Lamar Odomâ€™s thoughts after the game. Shit. Iâ€™d rather hear Lamar Odomâ€™s thoughts on that guyâ€™s wardrobe choice. He had to have seen it.
â€œI have courtside seats to the Lakers-Cavs game this afternoon. No better time to wear my white New Orleans Saints Drew Brees jersey. Letâ€™s hope that bad boyâ€™s been been dry cleaned! Now where are my keys?â€
Better than the actual Pro Bowl: the cheerleader festivities [Credit]
I watched a few plays from the AFC-NFC Pro Bowl. Why do they include AFC-NFC in the name? Drew Brees got sacked and fumbled on one of them. (Sorry, courtside fan.) Kurt Warner threw an incompletion on this other one. Riveting stuff. Give me that remote so I can check see whatâ€™s on PBS.
I suspect the folks at NBC anticipated a bit of a rating drop-off from this past Sunday evening.
Did see Larry Fitzgerald catch a sort-of Hail Mary at the end of the first half. Kind of makes you wonder what could have happened at the end of XLIII …
The Pro Bowl, nay, AFC-NFC Pro Bowl mostly is all about re-introducing me to guys from my fantasy team that I cared deeply about for about 14 Sundays (and some Thursdays) in a row. Then I totally forget those people ever existed. Andre Johnson and Brandon Marshall? Good to see you fellas again!
Seriously. I thought about Andre Johnson more this past season than even his mother. Yet for the past two months, I really havenâ€™t thought about No. 80. Then heâ€™s out there catching passes today and Iâ€™m thinking, â€œI canâ€™t wait to pick you in the second round next season on my way to 6-8!â€
Who won the game anyway?