Busted Coverage New Columnist Gives Out Super Bowl Gambling Advice, Says No Way ‘Burgh Loses
Two individuals who had a great 2008 NFL season. Jay and BC.
This is the official introduction of Art McGregor to the pages of Busted Coverage. We’re huge fans of Art’s style, drinking prowess and stories of struggling with the women.
In his first attempt at entertaining BC readers he’ll intertwine women, gambling and the Super Bowl. It’s going to serve as our close to the 2008 NFL season. Art pretty much sums it all up right here.
–We’ll be back tomorrow morning for a few quick weekend stories before heading off on two days of boozing and football.
Grew up in northeast Ohio. â€œGrew upâ€ is kind of a misnomer because I live like Iâ€™m 19 at the ripe age of 30.
Youngstown, Ohio. Ninety-some sunny days a year. The armpit of the United States. Have to deal with the ugliness that is Cleveland girls. Those all rock the tits compared to my luck in sports.
Pretty much convinced that God hates me. Have the worst fortune of any sports fan in the United States during the past 25 years. I live … make that â€œmake meager wages and live paycheck-to-paycheckâ€ and die with the Cleveland Browns, Cavaliers and Indians and also the Ohio State Buckeyes football and menâ€™s basketball teams. I root against the women. Those teams are 1-6 in championship games/series in the past 25 years.
Art likes the Steelers by default and their women because he’s lonely.
14-2 is the mark of teams I hate in those same championship games/series. Only kid on my block in the 1990s to hate Michael and the Jordanaires. Actually I didnâ€™t live on a block. It was a circle. And then a culd de sac. That whole upper middle class thing. You know how it goes.
Hate the Yankees, hate Notre Dame and Michigan in college football, hate the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers. I could have used synonyms for â€œhateâ€ there but J Koot warned me about the make-up of Busted Coverageâ€™s readers.
Busted Coverage asked me to put together a breakdown of some possible prop bets for its readers.
â€œBut Art, you sound rather unlucky.â€ I know. Right?
Every now and then I do have luck with the ladies. This immediately translates into â€œgood luck at sports betting.â€ Why? Because I have reddish hair, freckles, donâ€™t quite get to 5-feet-10 inches tall and have big ears. Really big.
I spent most of the work day today texting a girl I used to hang out with on occasion. She has a boyfriend that knows her Facebook and MySpace passwords and he checks her e-mail as the cherry on the top.
Iâ€™m not at all worried about him finding out about this post because most guys that go tanning or wear faux-hawks (as seen on Steve Nash) and graphic T-shirts donâ€™t read blogs. Many also donâ€™t know how to read.
â€œHeâ€™s really not as bad as it sounds,â€ she said via her text message machine.
She doesnâ€™t know I blog either. Not surprising as she wore a tongue ring in college at a state school in Ohio not named Ohio State or Miami.
Top 3 demographics of people who arenâ€™t reading blogs:
Girls who wore a tongue ring during college
Cocktail waitresses at bars/clubs who dabbled in some classes at a local community college
Pittsburghâ€™s winning this Super Bowl thing on Sunday evening. Thatâ€™s it. Theyâ€™re not losing. I canâ€™t, however, in good conscious tell you to bet â€œSixburghâ€ laying 6.5 or 7. I wouldnâ€™t make the bet because the Steelers obviously would win by 1 to 6 points.
Hereâ€™s a list of five prop bets (from Gambler’s Palace) guaranteed to make you a few extra dollars. That faux-hawk ainâ€™t going to coif itself.
1.) Final half score and final result of the game
Arizona wins first half and Steelers win game +280
Arizona is going to keep this game close. Theyâ€™ll give you some false hope. But rule No. I of XLIII is â€œPittsburghâ€™s winning this Super Bowl thing on Sunday evening.â€
2.) First non-offensive touchdown in the game
No non-offensive touchdown in the game – 210
Youâ€™re just convinced olâ€™ No. 43 is going to run one in for the Steelers, arenâ€™t ya? Itâ€™s a sucker bet. I can see an interception at the end of the game that seals the deal but itâ€™s more of a â€œfall down, we wonâ€ type of pick than a mad dash to the end zone.
3.) Total yards on Cardinals first punt in the game
43 to 47 yards +220
Ben Graham averages 43.3 yards a punt. Thatâ€™s with a football. I donâ€™t know how long he can kick some cabbage in the grocery store. Iâ€™m not in there with him. Seems kinda easy to me. This pick. Kicking cabbage might hurt. I donâ€™t know. Havenâ€™t eaten a vegetable since â€™05.
More sexy Steelers’ chicks at Coed.
4.) Ben Roethlisbergerâ€™s first pass of the game will be
Complete – 210
Any stat that shows Ben Roethlisberger has thrown an incompletion is a god-damn lie. Iâ€™ve never seen it happen. (Live or on television.) Be ready for the play when he scrambles around for six seconds and finds a wide-open receiver 15 yards down field.Â Be ready for it about six times. In the third quarter alone.
5.) Team to score first and final result
Cardinals score first and lose game +270
+270?! Letâ€™s go over some math. Thereâ€™s a 100 percent chance that Pittsburgh will win this game. So youâ€™ve got the second part of this prop down. And then what? I donâ€™t know. It seems 50/50 that one of these teams will score first. Itâ€™s not going to be 0-0 heading into a penalty shootout. This is the easiest play of the day. Other than the girl I alluded to earlier.
Iâ€™ll be watching Sunday evening at The Little Bar in Columbus, Ohio. I think theyâ€™re doing an all-you-can-drink thing.
My luck keeps improving. Yours can too.