The Sports Broadcaster/Personality Most Likely To Have A Sex Tape As Theorized By Bored Bloggers

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shirtless-stuart-scott

It’s January.

We’ve spent four week snowed into this hell which consists of a LCD TV with DVR and little else. College basketball has yet to light a fire under our asses. All of this misery leads to strange office conversations.

BC editors were so excited about one office chat they decided to pose this question to fellow sports bloggers to get a pulse on the subject of “The Sports Broadcaster/Personality Most Likely To Have A Sex Tape Is…”

We were banking on a few Chris Bermans, Doug Gottliebs, Harold Reynolds, Kirk Herbstreits, or even a possible Jay Crawford tryst on film.

Instead, the demented sports blogging community (seriously) returned names such as Pat Summerall, Michelle Tafoya, Gus Johnson and stud Jerry Remy.

Stuart Scott seems to be a runaway winner with this hypothetical honor.

Now we just need some possible Stu Scott porn movie names.

Jerry Remy

Sports Crackle Pop:
My choice would go to Red Sox broadcaster Jerry Remy. Man can grow a mean pornstache (see attached pic) and can dance up a storm. You know what they say about guys who have rhythm!

Steve-Lavin-Wife

Art McGregor – Blog On The Run:

Steve Lavin. Am I the only one that could see him rocking a Christian-Bale-in-American-Pyscho-sex-tape-type deal? “Don’t just look at that high screen pick-and-roll, eat it!”

Jenn-Sterger-Jets

World of Isaac:

Does Jenn Sterger count? There’s no way she doesnt have one from FSU.

Runner-up: Dana Jacobson..”if she is willing to get drunk on stage and make fun of Jesus, who knows what she’s willing to do in the bedroom”

inessainz-132

NFL Juice:

Ines Sainz of TV Azteca for two reasons.  One, she’s from Mexico City, where sex tapes are like After School Specials and the guilt factor of actually starring in one is reduced by 72%.    And two, her ass is just way too big to be innocent.

Close Runner-Up: Trenni Kusnierek of Fox Sports Net.  Reason:  Spring Break, 1997, Cancun, after-bar party on the beach, loud music, Cuervo 1800 shots, battery-operated toys…..and the rest is classified.

Stuart-Scott-ESPN

Joe Student – Philly Edge:

Discounting the film made by 1970s NFL Today contributor Jayne Kennedy and her then husband (the original celebrity sex ‘tape’) – one in which she is fisted – the favorite has to be Stuart Scott. As it becomes more evident that a Olbermann-Patrick like transcendence will not happen for Stu, desperation may set in and…BOO-YA!

Hugging Harold Reynolds:

It’s commonly known that Chris Berman, Sean Salisbury, Marv Albert and Peggy Flemming each already have one.  Those are gimmes.  However, Tony Reali is said to have one that’s reached the Hong Kong black market under the title “Reach Around the Horn.”

Pat Summerall

Friends of the Program:

Pat Summerall.

He’s probably not actually involved in any of the acts taking place on camera, but instead just accidently wanders into the shot wearing nothing but a towel muttering something about how they moved the shower room at the Polo Grounds…but the baby arm on that guy!

mattberry

100% Injury Rate/FanIQ:

Matthew Berry – Not technically a sports broadcaster I guess, but he’s on enough TV for me to name him. This guy parties his butt off, and that tends to lead to sex tapes that I would never want to see.

Stuart Scott And Hooters

AfroJacks:

Funny you ask, we have a theory that Stuart Scott’s lazy eye was caused by a gay cum shot. More a hypothesis than a theory, really.

Erin Andrews Cubs Game

On205th:

Erin Andrews, because she is a naughty, naughty girl. And because I want her to have one…

jay glazer

Don Chavez:

Jay Glazer 2/1
Ken Rudolph of TVG 5/2 (the man is a pimp)
Joe Buck 30/1
Tim McCaver 3/1 (with a dude)
Stu Scott 5/1
Erin Andrews 1/1 (if Julie Donaldson has one, Erin Andrews has one)
Chris Berman 50/1

blonde_scott_van_pelt_bar_21

Gunaxin:

Local boy Scott Van Pelt (Local to me) seems pretty likely as well. I’ve heard some stories about that guy tearing it up down at Dewey Beach.

Oh, and don’t forget the obvious : Marv Albert

Stuart Scott Lazy Eye And Blond

Boosh Magazine:

I bet Stuart Scott has a sex tape out there somewhere. If people can have fetishes for feet, there must be people out there turned on by lazy eyes.

Michelle Tafoya

Cuzoogle:

Michelle Tafoya whipping dudes while she lets them scream into that giant mic she has.

gus1web

Angry T:

If I could catch a glimpse of Gus Johnson in action and hear his famous line, “Rises and Fires” in the bedroom my life would be complete. “This, is, the MISSIONARY POSITION.”

Ed. Note...This was meant in good humor. If you don’t take a joke very well and represent (legally) one of these individuals and would like a name removed, that is possible.

This recession has totally sucked dry our legal defense fund. We don’t need trouble.

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