BC Fat Five Football Poll: Ralph Chows At 4-1

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Last season, this blog, then called Big T!n Tailgate, started its own national polling.

While all the other sports bloggers concentrate on BCS positioning, AP polls, etc., we were busy keeping track of the bustiest coaches in college football with our “Busted Coverage Fat Five Football Poll.”

Four weeks into the season we are prepared to release the standings in this battle of the bulge. Coaches are graded on length of game (shorter games equal quicker trips to post-game buffet), wins, losses and general stupidity from these man-can sporting, whistle blowing, cheeseburger eating behemoths.

Week 5 Busted Coverage Fat Five Poll:

1. Ralph Friedgen (20-17  W, 4-1)

Well look what we have here. Our poster boy has taken over the #1 slot based upon his 20-17 victory over Clemson. Ralph gets very close to that bowl eligibility and the bonus buffets that come with playing in December. Something tells us this Terp pounded some prime rib and baked potatoes after this big victory.

2. Mark Mangino: (Idle, 3-1)

No game means laying in recliner and pounding ice cream sundaes with extra helpings of that sugary chocolate syrup. This guy knows how to spend a week off  – eating.

3. Charlie Weis (38-21 W, 3-1)

We really can’t stand this guy but congratulate him on solidifying himself as a winning coach (with his own players). Now, he loses bonus points for length of game. Charlie will have a nervous breakdown if his team is extending games with 30-point outbursts. Those brats on the grill will be cold if this shit continues.

4. Tom Amstutz (35-16 L, 1-3)

BC really likes this guy. He doesn’t hide the fact that food is his friend. But what about winning against Florida International. This is a disturbing loss for Toledo and it’s our hope that Tom cured his blues with a double quarter-pounder and fries.

5. Phil Fulmer (14-12 L, 1-3)

This guy really has a stranglehold on the basement. These are tough times for Vols fan.

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