“Daddy! Mommy taught us how to use the f-word in a sentence.”
Put your feet in Vanessa Bryant’s pumps for a minute. Your husband is back in the tabloids for a possible relationship with a Laker Girl a couple years after bonking a chick in Colorado that turned into a fiasco.
You’d be pissed at an ESPN Internet reporter, too.
But Ms. Bryant seems more than just a little angry. She allegedly dropped f-bombs, in front of her kids, towards ESPN.com scribe Laura Lane, making Vanessa an honorary member of our “Top 10 Crazies Wives/Exes Of The Sporting World.”
#10. Janet Jones/Wayne Gretzky
Any wife who gets tangled up in a gambling mess where she is alleged to have placed thousands in bets is either extremely loyal, sick or fairly crazy. Janet sneaks onto the list for being slightly some of each. (Crazy Scale: 1)
#9. Tina Eaton/Chad Eaton
Don’t try to cheat on Tina Eaton. That was the message from Chad Eaton’s nutty wife. Tina was arrested a couple years back for bloodying her husbands nose with a punch to the face. The bigger Eaton used to be a 6-5, 300lb. Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman. (Crazy Percentage: 1.75)
#8. Joumana Kidd/Jason Kidd
Now this used to be a fun crazy couple. Who can forget the stories of strippers, alleged affairs with television reporters and a wife who would take J Kidd’s shit and dish it right back at the millionaire baller. Joumana moves up the crazy list for putting up with her exes alleged abuse. It took her too long to nail him in court. It’s either love or craziness. (Crazy Percentage: 2)
#7. Jacqueline Johnson/Ted Johnson
A dual arrest for domestic abuse will get you onto this select list. Jacqueline got into a brawl with her famous New England Patriots husband Ted a few years back and went toe-to-toe with the mammoth defensive stud. While Ted was used to pounding running backs behind the line of scrimmage, Jacqueline proved she wouldn’t back down from his bullying. A wife who can scrap is not to be taken lightly. (Crazy Percentage: 2.25)
Jackie, the hot one, is still going strong with husband Ted
#6. Ajok Kuag/Manute Bol
We stick with the husband/wife fight them in the middle of this list. Ajok decided to show just how crazy she was back in 2006 by allegedly throwing a phone at the baller and nailing him with a punch to the head. We’d love to know how she reached his head, but this just proves how you shouldn’t piss off the wife of a 7-7 three-point machine. (Crazy Percentage: 3.15)
#5. Sherrie Daly/John Daly
Any woman who would marry a fat, chain smoking, drunken golfer has a screw loose. Sherrie Daly is that woman and she proved in 2006 to be problems for John. Money laundering charges lander her in jail on a five-month sentence making her one of a kind in the sporting world. Rarely does a sports wife actually go to jail. But then again, she would go to the sack with her tubby husband. (Crazy Percentage: 4.25)
#4. Kim Mattingly/Donny Baseball
Take one look at Kim’s booking photo. There’s nothing more to say. (Crazy Percentage: 4.25)
#3. Daniell Harper/Nick Harper
Cutting your husband with a knife the night before a playoff showdown with the Pittsburgh Steelers lands you safely in the Top 5 on this list. Daniell got a visit to jail and Nick had to be stitched. Risking playoff money to stab your husband goes down as one of our favorite crazy moments for a sports wife. (Crazy Percentage: 4.75)
Don’t test Daniell’s skills with a knife
#2. Tawny Kitaen/Chuck Finley Who can forget this firecracker using her pumps as weapons of mass destruction. Poor Chuck. He will forever be dogged as the guy who married the crazy chick who went to jail for twisting his ear, among other things. Maybe these two could get back together and make a run at #1. (Crazy Percentage: 4.99)
Chuck is probably still having nightmares
#1. Carlita Hodges/Craig Hodges
We go way back in time for this one. 1991 to be specific.
When your estranged wife tries to blow you up it might be time to seek a new wife. Craig Hodges, the former Chicago Bulls three-point gunner, found out the hard way how crazy women can be while picking up his kids from school. Let’s go to the full report.
The estranged wife of CRAIG HODGES was charged yesterday with aggravated battery and reckless conduct after she allegedly doused the Chicago Bulls guard with gasoline and threw lighted matches at him, authorities in Northbrook, Ill., said.
Hodges, 31 years old, wasn’t injured in the incident.
We have a winner and it’s going to take a serious challenge from a woman to top Carlita. She’s a legend to these other crazy ladies. (Crazy Percentage: Is there anything higher than 5?)