Listen Up Breast Feeding Mama's! Put Away The Flapjack Twins!

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Not looking to have kids due to the torture of midnight runs to Burger King and hormonal tantrums that will make you question the premise of marriage, here is your perfect date/partner.

University of Colorado opinionator Heather Koski goes Dwight Howard with a slam dunk column today for the Campus Press. She’s tired of new mothers, public breast feeding and incessant baby talk.

I have no desire to hear my child speak its first words or witness it take its first step. The time it takes to reach those moments is entirely too much work. Once you have a baby, you may as well install a 24-hour surveillance camera to your hip to emphasize how much time you will spend with the child.

Tell us what you really think.

One more unimaginable aspect of having a baby is breastfeeding. I don’t want someone living off my bodily fluids for 18 months. It also bothers me when mothers do this in public with those special over-the-shoulder-Boulder-holders. They wear their button-down shirts and then just whip their boobs out in public like people will understand their indecent exposure because they have a baby to feed. Please find a corner!

Sounds like we’ve found the next Mother Teresa. Wonder is she likes beer, football and Will Ferrell movies? If so, the list of possible suitors just jumped by one.

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