Daily Dump: Clemens Takes It In The Ass, Moeller Family DUI, Pac Man Speaks, Bowl Tickets

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What did we learn yesterday, kids?

2109977559_2b986d4d35.jpgOne important item. Roger Clemens takes it in the ass. Or so says some trainer who’s facing some heat from the Feds. This whole Mitchell Report was worthless. We really didn’t learn too much more than we could have put together before yesterday.

It was cool to see how some athletes bought money orders to purchase drugs that would help them make millions.  Or how about the one guy who got a discount because he was struggling to survive in the minors. 

Clemens can now ride off into the sunset and deny the allegations until the reaper comes knocking. He’ll always be dogged for this chapter of his life and should be. Roger always wants us to believe he’s the Texas badass who, at 40, has the energy of a 20-year-old.

Ain’t happening. You don’t develop tree trunk legs by eating egg whites and Texas Toast.

It should be an interesting Hall of Fame discussion a few years from now.

Sidenote: Have you seen Mo Vaughn lately? He’s 375 and very, very rich. 

Today’s Dump:

Former Michigan head coach hands down DUI tradition [Detroit News]

Robert Porcher has a beef with ex-wife [Free Press]

Pac Man Jones impresses students with tails of strippers, jail [Some TV Station]

Sign of the times: $100 gets you spot on waiting list for Cowboys season tickets [Some TV Station]

Women more accepting of porn, Mormon study finds [Salt Lake Tribune]

Purdue fans not impressed with bowl invite, not buying tickets [Indy Star]

Want Fiesta Bowl tickets, give West Virginia a call, plenty available [WV Metro News]

Same problem at Virginia for Gator Bowl [Roanoke Times]

Charles Thomas Loves Fried Chicken [Losers With Socks]

This jail sentence will be tough to outlive [ The College Station Eagle]

Alberta in winter will cause one to run up huge phone bills [Wired]

Today’s Tail:

Mary Karola will soon creep into your happy dreams [Hottest Girls of MySpace]

Australian pol raises poles [Tasty Booze]

Some video of hot chicks from Professor of Poon [MacGsWorld]

The days of uncorrupted Jessica Alba are over, the world cries [Brahsome]

With a foreign name like Marketa you’d figure she’s good in bed [SlamDizzle]

Random British chick in morning best [UK Celeb]

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